A Simple Job
by lemanruss96
Summary: When three orphans come into the Devil may Cry shop, Dante figured it would be an easy job. How wrong he was...
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing!**

The cab stopped on the dingy street. Two figures got out, one of them holding a baby.

"You sure this is the place?" Klaus asked.

"Betbe," Sunny mumbled as she curled into her sister's arms, away from the cold of the night.

Violet looked at the piece of paper she was holding. "Yes," she said. "This is it."

The three orphans walked into the dark interior of Devil May Cry.

When they came in, they saw a woman with something that looked like a bazooka on her back playing pool.

Looking up, she was surprised at the three new faces. "What're you kids doing in here? Aren't you supposed to be in-"

"Devil must die," Klaus calmly stated.

The woman straightened up. "Follow me."

She led them to a door in the back of the room. Opening it, they saw an ancient mahogany desk. Behind it, there was someone wearing a red trench coat with their face buried in a Game Informer magazine.

"The hell?" they heard him mumbling. "What do they think they're doing? I mean, the hair isn't even close to right, the angel and devil mode sounds borderline idiotic, and he looks like some emo d-bag."

"Dante," the woman said in a bit of an annoyed tone. "We have some kids here."

"Then send 'em packing," came the reply. "You know I hate kids."

The woman then walked up to the desk and yanked the magazine away. "They have the password."

The orphans could now see the man's face. He had silver hair, pale features, and a scowl on his face.

Violet stepped forward. "You must be Dante."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"We are in need of your services," Klaus added.

Dante leaned back in his chair and grinned. "What for? Monster in your closet?"

"Ignore him," the woman said as she leaned against the desk. "What are you here for?"

"Well, I'm Violet Baudelaire," Violet said. "And these are my siblings, Klaus and Sunny."

"We're orphans," Klaus supplemented. "Our parents died in a house fire, and left their fortune to us. Problem is, our distant relative, Count Olaf-"

"Count Oaf?" Dante interrupted. "Why'd you have to worry about someone with a name like that?"

The woman reached back and slapped him in the face. "Sorry. Continue."

"Thanks. Anyway, he has been trying to get our fortune for God knows how long, and we've grown sick of it."

"Sicovit," Sunny punctuated.

"So you see, we came up with a plan. If we can transfer the money to Switzerland, then he can't touch it, and we might have a bit of peace for once."

"Everything's worked out," Violet added. "All we need to do is go to Switzerland and sign some papers, and then he can't come within a mile of it."

"So where do I fit in?" Dante asked.

"Count Olaf has a well…_history_ of trying to defraud us of the money, by force if necessary. We needed some form of protection, and all of my sources say you're the best."

Dante nodded. "Good sources. Now, about payment…"

"We're willing to pay you seventy five grand," Violet coolly stated.

"One hundred," Dante replied.

"Eighty."

"Ninety five."

"Ninety."

"Deal." Dante held out his hand, and Violet took it. "Now," he said as he rose from his desk. "I have some gear to grab. Then we can go."

Dante reached under his desk, and to all the children's' surprise, pulled out a massive sword. He placed it over his back, then reached down and picked up two pistols. "Okay, where to?"

Klaus pushed up his glasses, nervously eying the handguns. "Well, er, we have a train ticket. It leaves in two hours."

Dante walked around the desk then headed for the exit, motioning for them to follow. "You're in charge Lady," he said over his shoulder to the woman. "Tell any customers that show up to wait a couple of weeks."

Lady nodded. "Alright Dante. Don't get yourself killed out there."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

XXXXXXXX

As the group walked outside, they failed to notice one of the gargoyles on a nearby building turning its head to follow them. The Count had paid him well to keep an eye on these ones, and this demon was no one to fail its duties. Jumping into the air on stone-like wings, the creature flew back to its master, ready to tell him of the new information it had gathered.

XXXXXXXX

"What was that?" Violet asked as they heard a rustling above them.

"Probably a rat. Those mothers grow pretty big around here," Dante answered, not breaking stride.

They walked in silence for a while. Then, Violet cleared her throat. "So, uh, Dante, you do these kinds of jobs a lot?"

He shrugged a bit. "I do all kinds of jobs. I took down some weird cult, I've kept my brother from opening a gate to hell, you know, shit like that."

Violet was nodding, staring intently at their protector. To be perfectly honest, Klaus was a little nervous at the look she was giving him. That look was normally reserved for a particularly interesting piece of machinery. Could she be-

"You know," Violet chimed, interrupting his thoughts. "I could see your neon sign was flickering a little. I could probably fix it. You know, just a bad connection somewhere."

"Huh," Dante answered. "This the train station you were talking about?"

"Yes," Klaus answered. "We should have around an hour and a half before we have to go."

Dante nodded and walked with them up to the platform. On their way up, they passed a bum leaning against a trash can.

"Spare change?" the filthy man asked. They all ignored him and continued on. "Hey, I'm talking to you, ya lousy jackholes!"

Dante heard the man get up. He also heard the small but telltale chittering.

In a single motion, the Devil Hunter turned around with his pistols drawn. The bum had gotten up, and where his arm should be there was a massive blade coated in insects. The man was just raising the weapon as Dante opened fire.

The demon fell from the assault just as Sunny started screaming. Dante calmly walked up to the downed creature and lined up its head in his sights.

"Nice try. Now, if you would be so kind as to tell me who paid you…"

"Please, spare me! It was-" the creature was cut off both metaphorically and literally as a sword much like its own came whizzing through the air, neatly slicing off the creature's head.

There was a pause. Then, Dante holstered his pistols. "Well, ain't going to get anything off of it. Might as well go wait for the train."

The children stared first at the body, which had already started to decompose, and then at Dante.

"He…He's dead," Klaus said, eyes wide open behind his glasses.

"It," Dante corrected. "Lesser demons like that one don't have a set gender."

"Still," Klaus continued, frazzled by the interruption. "It was a sentient being, and you just shrug and walk away."

"Listen Socrates," Dante said as he turned to him, arms raised in a surrender gesture. "I really don't want to have an ethics argument right now, so I'll tell you this: I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help you kids get to Switzerland. You don't question it, I just do it. Kapeesh?"

The twelve year old just shook his head and followed his siblings and the Devil Hunter up to the platform.

**Well, here's my first chapter. Hope all of you liked it! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, we all know I don't own A Series of Unfortunate Events (If I did, it would have been far more interesting) or Devil May Cry (If I did…well, I'd probably not change anything, just profit off it.). So, just read and enjoy.**

**And a quick note: Dante's gonna use his Demonic Arms from Devil May Cry 4. Why? Because a briefcase that turns into a rocket launching crossbow is that fricking cool.**

**Oh, and if you care, the game Dante was complaining about in the last chapter was the DMC reboot. I mean, really Capcom? A reboot's understandable, but you really screwed up Dante's look. Okay, my rant's done.**

Onboard the train, it was fairly uneventful. The orphans and their protector were the only ones on the car, except for an old man sleeping in a corner.

Klaus was reading a novel he'd found under one of the seats. It was fairly predictable, but better than nothing. Sunny was chewing on a smoothened pebble she kept for such occasions. Dante was listening to his iPod with the volume up loud enough that Klaus could hear him from across the aisle.

Violet did not seem to mind this. On the contrary, she was sitting right next to the Devil Hunter, playing with her hair ribbon nervously.

"So, Dante," she said, trying to start small talk. "Could I by chance see one of your pistols?"

"Why?" he asked, hearing her perfectly clearly despite his obnoxiously loud music.

"Well, I kinda tinker a little, so, you know, maybe I could fix it up a little for you?"

He paused a second. "Tempting offer kid, but no."

"Why not?"

"My weapons harness demonic energies. You touch demonic energy, you die. Or worse."

This quieted her down, although she still took sidelong glances at him every so often. Klaus watched this from behind his book, and to be honest, it worried him. Their sister had always been the confident one, and this nervousness was unnatural. And these looks she kept giving their protector…the whole thing made him nervous.

XXXXXXXX

The train slowly came to a halt. The conductor walked into their car. "Last stop, everyone off," he called.

"Finally," Dante muttered as he tried to get up. However, Violet had fallen asleep, and was using his arm as a pillow. He grinned a little, then gave her a quick shake. "Hey, time to get up."

She opened her eyes then, seeing her position, jumped up off the seat. "Um, I, sorry," she stuttered, looking down to hide the blush on her face.

"It's fine, Viola."

"Violet."

He just grunted and checked to see if Klaus and Sunny were coming.

Klaus put down the novel as he looked at his sister. He was incredibly confused right now; the entire time he'd known her, she had never done something like that. Shaking his head, he reached down and picked up Sunny.

"Hee?" she asked.

"Yes Sunny," he responded. "We're here."

The little group walked off the train. On the platform, Dante turned to them. "So, kids, where're you going now?"

"We need to go to the docks," Klaus explained. "We have an old family friend down there who's agreed to take us across the Atlantic."

"Huh. Well, we better get a move on then. We're wasting time here." Turning on his heel, Dante began to walk down the street, the Baudelaire children in tow. As they walked, Klaus noticed a sign on the side of the street.

"Oh look, the circus's in town."

"Weggo?" Sunny asked hopefully.

"Sorry Sunny, but no," Violet answered. "We don't have time to dawdle."

"Besides," Dante said from up front as he stopped. "You get to see it closer here."

"What're you-" Klaus asked, but the view up the street silenced him.

Up ahead of them on the street, some sort of red energy had blocked off the street. Looking behind them, Klaus and Violet could see the same had happened on the alleyways and the street behind them, effectively pinning them in.

"Great," Dante muttered. "Just the kind of crap my day's been missing."

From the rooftops, there came a loud roaring. Some sort of creatures came up to the edges, then leapt down in front of them. Once they were on the ground, they could see that they were lions. The beasts stayed where they were a second, then began to tremble. Suddenly, some sort of black armor grew onto them and their faces were replaced by skulls filled with far too many teeth. The one at the front roared, and they charged.

Dante grinned as the creatures barreled down on him. Reaching into his coat, he drew a…briefcase?

"You kids might want to close your eyes," he warned. Sunny and Violet happily obeyed, but Klaus kept his open, curious to see how their defender would keep these monsters at bay with his, well, _unorthodox_ weapon.

Hefting it up to his shoulder, Dante arrogantly cocked his head. "Alright kitties. Let's play catch the red dot." There was a flash of light, and Dante was holding something akin to a rocket launcher on his shoulder. The end of it glowed red for a second, then a beam shot out of it, slicing deep into the demonic felines.

"Now a bit of lead." There was another flash of light, and the laser cannon was replaced by what looked like a minigun. Klaus's theory proved right as a hailstorm of bullets flew from it, raking across the monsters.

The creatures were hurt badly, but still not down. They roared and hissed at Dante, who merely shrugged. "Alright. By popular demand, the grand finale!"

Pieces of metal seemed to grow from the suitcase, wrapping Dante in a steel sphere. Something that looked like gun barrels sprouted out the front, and they started to glow. Dante pressed a button, and a barrage of missiles flew at the demons. The resulting explosions hid most of what happened next, but based off the unearthly howls, Klaus could only imagine the damage the rockets had caused.

Once the smoke cleared, there was only rubble and ashes where the monsters had been. The barrier on the street ahead of them glowed for a second, then shattered. Dante put away the briefcase, looking pleased with himself. "Eyup, I win again."

"We…we're safe?' Violet asked.

"Yeah. Demons are dead now." Having put away the weapon at some point, Dante turned to Klaus. "Looks like Count Oaf has some connections."

"Olaf…and what do you mean?" Klaus responded, confused.

"It takes a lot of magic to summon those kinds of demons. If he has the resources to do that, then we're gonna have to be way more careful."

'We have you," Violet remarked as she wrapped herself around one of Dante's arms. "We'll be fine."

**Well…another chapter completed. Just to let you guys know: if my stories don't get reviewed, then I lose interest, and I don't update, and we don't want that happening now, do we? So, yeah. Tell me what you think.**


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